The Power of 30 Seconds

A week ago today, we learned that our embryos didn't attach. I used to be someone who would fall apart by sad news and stay in that state. Through the years, I have learned ways to change my coping mechanisms. I am no expert, but these tips have helped.

1. I allow myself to fall apart but for no more than 12 hours. After 12 hours, I make myself do something like clean, cook, go to a movie, or get dressed. It takes 30 seconds to make this decision and sets the tone for the rest of the day.

2. I try to find someone who needs help and help them. This might mean sending a text that says, "I am thinking of you." or gathering food buckets for Africa or helping an elderly lady with her groceries. No matter how small or big the task, putting my mind in the mindset of serving others, takes the focus off my own problems.

3. I pray a lot. I pray when I first wake up. I pray while waiting on my coffee. I pray while driving my car. I pray. I pray. I pray. Why? Jesus is an available friend 24/7. He's a friend who wants the very best for you and loves you without condition. Pretty cool, right? I can say whatever I want to Him whenever I want without fear. He loves me. He listens. He knows me better than anyone. He can understand me even when my words fail to come out.

4. I respond to friends. This may seem simple, but in a world of social media, this doesn't always happen. If someone leaves a comment on my Facebook page, I respond in some way. If someone sends me a text, I return it with a message. Even if I am busy, I take 30 seconds to say,"I heard you." I have found that by being a good friend that I have the best friends. I am not perfect at it by no means, but I try to take time to nurture friendships. Some of these friends have known me for over 25 years. My current crisis is no excuse to drop the ball on our friendship.

5. I hug my husband. Okay, this seems silly, but in the routine of work and busyness, couples can forget to stop what they are doing and hug each other. There are times that I interrupt Chris in the middle of doing dishes or writing a paper and say,"I need a hug." I know that studies have proven the positive effect that human contact has on emotion, but I don't need those studies. I feel loved, secure, and better when my husband takes 30 seconds to hug me. I feel even better when I stop what I am doing to hug him when he needs it.

Again, I am no expert or psychologist. These are my tips that I have learned through years of struggle and disappointment. One of the cutest movies I have seen is We Bought a Zoo. In that movie, the father says to the son, "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” Well, sometimes in our sad state, we may need an extra 10 seconds of courage to to be brave, but I know that bravery will be worth it. Something great will come of it!